Shashi Tharoor, and some patriotism

Shashi Tharoor. Hey he already sounds like hes the Secretary General. So diplomatic and all that.
"The world would benefit from a wider array of choices" and "Pakistan also has a right to field their candidate"
Bullshit! Thats what. Why does Pakistan have to be so jealous about such a big neighbour making it big. We didnt clamour when they got their guy to head the ICC. And the arguments they put forth. Even the BJPs explanation of Sonia Gandhi's sacrifice two years ago wasnt as pathetic. Ho, politics is funny, diplomacy wierd. But often it gets tiring..
We know that. They know that. They know that we know that. And we know that they know that we know that. But still the game goes on. For the minnows, they need to prove that they are around. For the stalwarts, its to prove theyre still around. Whatever, it never seems to rise above 'that'. And we, fools, hang on to their every word, skip coffee to be the first to read the print version of yesterday nights news.

Now Shashi Tharoor. He's sensible. "Theres no point in visualising a UN which antagonises the US". And what could be more true. He's got guts. To say the same in a country where some commie dictates what the Prime Minister can say and cannot. Yeah, hes not another run of the mill.

And what about India? Do you think we needed this elevated position? Yes , we do. And Arundhathi Roy, Im sorry, but Id rather India be seen as a (nuclear) power. If not for anything else, simply for pride. Maybe just like Id like to see us win the world cup (no, not in football- because that would mean four years of waiting wasted). But its a feeling that could do a lot.
It is Americas national pride thats helped them set and reach such high standards of living. That Hum kissi se kum nahin! And the only way to emulate that is by acting like we are the best. Yeah we deserve a place in the Security Council. Atleast we dont spend time biting the corners of a Made in America towel like the guys currently out there do.

Proud, Arrogant, Loser, whatever the hell you feel like calling me.

Do I need to be a professional, much less a CA? Well, do I really need to be a white collared professional who gets others to do work that he himself hates? (Id better qualify that. In India, here from seing things, its all about doing somebody else's dirty accounting and auditing when youre still a student and after youve passed that stage, get some other unfortunate student to do yours. Maybe its not that obscene, but my explanation's pretty close. And about hating the work, I know CAs who claim they hate being one. Sadly I dont see them doing anything about it.)
Anyway, back. Must I? Do I really have to have some three lettered word after my name on my visiting card? I can promise you BCom wouldnt find a place there. Im too proud for that. Do I need to have that air conditioned room in my own office where Im boss to be taken seriously in the social circle. God. Do I care?
Well, the answers negative. If my happiness will be dictated by a fear of what society will take me for(and while were at that, a society that doesnt really care!), then somethings seriously wrong. After all its my life. One small life were all trying so hard to prolong as far as possible. Why the heck should I spend my time doing something I detest? Only thing is Im too young to foresee how miserable my future may become if the plan doesnt hit base. Ok its a risk. and a risk Im more than willing to take. So Im a freak, lost in fantasy. but Id rather be that way. And after all, the only way you can judge me will be at the end of days.
Yes, we've heard too much about dreams. from the mouths and pens of people who havent really risked or put everything at stake to make that leap in the dark. Yeah its nice to read about inspirational people. And its marvelous to listen to people who say these stories. But thats all it is as long as were not willing to risk everything for that which we truly want. And I wasnt satisfied with the way I was till last week.

And I dont wanna be alone

You get used to being alone. But break that once, and youve gotta get used all over again. Says Bach in his book Illusions. (Now thats a book you could read, if you already havent, though I cant assure you you can retain all of your sanity)
That why do I, how is it that I always end up alone feeling. No matter how many friends or relatives we have, or how close they are to us, there is an aloneness in all of us. Well, were not neccessarily alone. But we feel alone. That no one else thinks the way I do. No one sees things or has the same attitude towards things as I.
It could be that everybody sees things the way I do. But I dont feel it. So again Im alone.
Or it could be the child in us. Never satisfied with what we have. And, I believe, we dont have a damned right to be.
Again, it could be because of the uniqueness in each of ourselves. We are all unique. Just like everybody else. What we expect from relationships. And this is what sets us in the quest for more. The quest for someone just like us. The perfect friend. The perfect friend does not have to be perfect, only perfect for you.
Whether this pursuit will turn out to be futile, ask me after, maybe, well i dont know how you can ask me after I die, but, if you wanna know, try.
But whatever, being alone is disgusting. One of the few (and there seems to be many instances of those few) when you wish you were back at home.
And I dont wanna be alone


The song 'Alone' by the Beegees was a favorite of mine. This post has glimpses of its meaning as explained by Barry Gibb.