19 October, 2008

I choose!

Isn’t it much easier to just call it quits?

Does it really matter that you might get branded a loser?
How long do you battle against Fate?
How many times do you keep getting up after being knocked down?
Isn’t there a limit to self-motivation?
When does one draw the line?

Is it really worth the agony to beat an untrodden path for yourself?
Do you really need to be different?
How long do you justify you lack of exceptional talent to yourself?
How long must you keep convincing your loved ones that you’re old enough to take a decision after realizing its consequences?

How many times must you start building your life all over again?
How many times must you endure the hardships of getting off the block?
How many times do you put your Luck for enterprise to test?

Isn’t it much easier to just say ‘I quit’?

And to get on with life the way everybody else seems to be doing?
To bury your dreams and gradually forget that they existed?

Or is it worth, after all?


“Despite my lack of ability or interest, being on the team kept me away from the knuckle dragging bullies” - Kareem Abdul – Jabber, legend among basketball legends, on what had him started off as a basketball player, at the age of nine! (from his book ‘On the Shoulder of Giants’)

Its mad hearing of people who succeed like this. It shows that you could also be as successful, provided you make the effort. But how much of an effort?


Iv almost convinced my parents that I need to do something better (or rather, lesser) than being a blue collared executive-in-the-making if I were to find peace of mind. And though they’ve come to accept it, they, like most parents, would prefer I did something that would keep at least myself financially secure from day one.

Now starts the dilemma. Convincing your parents (of all people) that you are talented or that you can ultimately make it big isn’t really difficult. Convincing (or even, finding someone who wants to be convinced) a prospective employer is! So, thus another job search trudges on. And even before its really started, you have to contend with the rebuffs as well as the constant discouragements from people who think they know all that can happen! At least, I was saved the misery of having to bear the agony of being ignored by people you considered as friends and who were in a position to help. In fact, Iv got a lot to be thankful in that regard. All my through my travails, Iv found a lot of people willing to help, help more than was necessary, and to help like as if I had given them a life or something.

But still, you need to explain the lack of progress to yourself, and that makes you feel like quitting. And so often, I feel like I could actually quit.

In fact, I could just decide that my dreams were just idealistic cravings, and set about building a career in finance. Im sure with the attractions, I could get settled quite fast in life (in all respects) and who knows maybe Ill even be happy!

And if Im not, Iv got a wonderful excuse. That my parents wanted me to do something safer. And safety comes with its cost. A lack of excitement!

But I couldn’t get away with that. Because today the choice is open. Today when Im choosing, I need to consider that ultimately my parents did give me a free hand, that I have to own up to my decisions rather than leaving room for scapegoats!

Today I need to tell myself that I can choose an adventurous life. One that will at the very least deliver in terms of excitement, if not achievements. But more importantly, I need to tell myself that I must choose to follow my dream or not to. I really cant put the blame on somebody else for the way my life turns out when it really is in my hands.

Iv chosen adventure. Trying to beat a path for myself. Im sure Ill succeed. But even if I don’t, Ill have made my own choices, like a Man