This is a story that’s been with me for very long. Almost 8 years. The funniest part is that this is one of the few stories Iv never heard said elsewhere or published. So there’s every chance that the story was made by the person I heard it from.
It’s a little weird. About a golf match. The weird part is that the golf match is played on the lush green course of heaven. And the Hosts are witnessing a match much alike a royal rumble, as they call it. Well the best-match wits. There’s the trusted stalwart Moses, the man who with a show of his rod led the Israelites across the Red Sea. Then of course there’s the star himself, Jesus. And to make the pool, playing the host, there’s an old man, old even by heavens standards.
The match, a one hole affair, starts off with Moses putting. Suffice it to say that a good shot ending up in the wrong place. The pool which forms part of the course, in this case. And when the heralds look down, anxious to see what’s going to happen (for, for a change, Moses seems to be on his own) he calmly walks down to the water. He holds his club over the pond. The waters part, like it happened scores of hundreds of years ago, and Moses calmly walks on the bed of the pond, takes the shot, which ends up very close to the hole!!
Now Jesus, the toast of the archangels. He walks up to take his shot amidst deafening cheer (he’s more used to it than Tiger Woods). The shot, again, though well crafted, ends up in the same old pond. Hey, the fans know whats going to come next. Jesus coolly walks down to the pond, and on the water and takes his next shot. Genius, and the crystal ball, misses the hole like it can only when it is torn between the desire to stand up tall for itself and when confronted with genius (okay, sorry, it happens in US Open ad’s also). It reaches the hole, grimaces the edges and rushes out, eliciting the most significant ooh. never heard on earth.
Finally it’s the old mans turn. The audience rub their palms with anticipation. They know who he is.
The shot, as frail as the looks of the shooter, manages to end up in the same old pond (sorry people, but, after all, its just a story) But wait a muinute, the ball, it doesn’t really touch the water. It falls into the mouth of a poor frog enjoying its heavenly swim. Alas, there’s an eagle swooning down spotting its prey and when it rises, the frog is in its mouth.
Now there’s a problem. Ball in the frog’s mouth. Frog in the eagle’s mouth. And the eagle, no less menacing than on lowly earth. The anxiety is apparent. Its turning out to be like some of the cricket matches they’ve watched us mortals watch on TV. Where you lose matches from a position where, even God cant make you lose.
But of course, like all good stories, there had to be a climax. And it had to come in a way no one expected (silly, otherwise how can it be a climax). When the eagle had reached the exact spot above the hole, the frog feels like choking. And you can guess what happened.
The ball is in the hole.
That’s when Moses calls Jesus aside, and quips, “this is why I hate playing with your dad”
(The explanation later)
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