Overgrown Baby

You cant help growing up, but you can help not maturing!

There was a time when we used to be called babies, children and more recently adolescents. Somehow, they give the feeling of patronising. As if you still ought to be let off in spite of your doings. After all, 'they cant be like this all their lives, can they'? Thank God for his infinite mercies. We all had grandparents and distant relatives. Otherwise it would be just parents, parents and teachers.

But then, even they expect you to grow up. When you reach, maybe, 20. When you are old enough to start working. Or for Gods sake, atleast after you’ve started working.

Teenager is not a name that fits you perfectly. So they don’t call you that. Oh forget it, they wouldn’t even want to call you that! The kind-hearted resort to consoling everyone saying they will mature soon. 'After all, they don’t have a family to support, and they are atleast improving'. The more cynical claim they’re just hopes crumbled. Black sheep!

And of course, not to mention the other three quarters of 20-something people in the world. The ones who do exactly what is expected of them. Who graduate after studying the most brainy of sciences (no insult intended), who get into the jobs in the poshest offices and who wait for their mothers to find them a wives!

For some inexplicable reason, I seem to attract the first mentioned set of people than the other three quarters, for not a few times has whichever group I am in been called a bunch of “Overgrown babies” (and I love that term). Now that’s actually surprising considering that many folks picture a long faced, sober, kill-joy when I am mentioned.

But reflecting on it, I couldn’t help noticing that the nomenclaturing is relatively recent, and started much after I graduated from being eligible to be called “teenager”.

Nevertheless, I couldn’t help pondering about how I changed. Externally, there wasn’t much of a difference, was there? I still was sober, hopelessly old fashioned when it came to appearance. Relatively outdated when it came to likes such as movies or music. So, then what? My two trips back home earlier this year gives me few answers. Let me tell you what changed.

Being at home is different. Oh no, I mean, being at home for a short vacation is blissfull. Even mom, of all people, rarely, if ever, shouts at you. Whatever small things you do, like helping out in the kitchen, is appreciated. The mess you create is ignored. Don’t mention the food. It is literally a feast for family.

But the best part is the laughing that happens. Never was life at home so fun filled as those days. Who said you needed reasons to laugh? Of course, having a born comedian for a brother, and a sister whose career ambition’s seem to be making others laugh at her, helps!

But that’s not just all about it. It was just being young at heart, and preparing to enjoy the things the rest of your group enjoys.

Like reading Brer Rabbit along with the sis, and laughing, and then fighting over which story to read next together (the argument, predictably, is along the lines of who has read the next story how many times how many years ago).

Like watching Tom and Jerry, and laughing like 10 year old’s (well.. what else does one do watching Tom and Jerry), oblivious to the fact that its just not fair (hey its always the tiny mouse that wins), laughing because life is just as fair as we make it out to be, so it doesn’t really matter.

Like listening to the young girls version of the story of Macbeth, and insisting she read out from the original text (yes, that thick black ‘complete works’, which, once upon a time, made my favourite books list) whenever I didnt agree.

Like singing all those old songs (with the portions of the lyrics that memory was smart enough to retain), trying to teach songs, refusing to learn, fighting over it, and then complaining to the higher authority, you know who!

Like peeing in the backyard (thank God again for a backyard and all the greenery) in spite of all the other males at home using only toilets.

like waking up whenevr you wanted. Waking up to bed-coffee or breakfast. Like sitting up late night trading useless stories. Like wandering around seeing all those faces you simply couldnt remember in the din that was 'life'!

Like imagining you are still the 10 year old who first came to live in Kerala. Making up for all the years wasted pretending you was something Important. Whereas you were just a speck in a mighty desert. And what was expected of you was to enjoy today. Not worry about ten years hence!

Good old Cricky

A few days before every big sports event such as an Olympics or a World cup, I oblige myself with the ritual of trotting to the nearest bookstall to ‘grab’ (as the ad’s want me to) my copy of the Sportstar’s special issue to commemorate it. Maybe it is to catch up with all the sport I missed while I was too busy to squat all day in front of the TV, to keep abreast of the relative strengths of the teams as on world cup date, to regale memories of the cups past as well as to get the tear-away poster displaying the match schedules to hang on my cupboard. Needless to say, the ritual forms the first act in letting the fever catch to me.

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The Indian team inspires me. Or actually the Indian cricket team fans inspire me with their never say die attitude. For all the non-performances of the last one year, we still have people as eminent as most of the 1983 world cup winning team saying that there never was a better team than what we have sent to the West Indies to win the world cup.

In fact, even the team inspires me. For about two whole years they’ve been planning the best strategy for the world cup. But they still haven’t got anywhere that can be called foolproof. They’ll surely be going into the world cup saying that, after all, it’s just another game, which can be won like they’ve won so many others. And sure that’s all there is. It also means that for us perennial planners, who never get things actually done till the last minute, there’s hope!

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Call it what you want, calypso, extravaganza or something even better, but the Carribean sure will be delightful. Just for the way they carry themselves in the stands. It’s a pity they wont be allowed to bring in their beer bottles and huge drums. But you can be assured, you wont see much flag burning. Or hopefully, the officials will be lenient. For the sake of the fun!

We’ll have maybe a few million Indians (as opposed to the billion the journalists claim) sitting late into the night to catch every bit of the action. Me? Well, a few matches. Depending on the strength of the teams on match day and reporting time next day at office. Age teaches you a lot. Not least that there’s more to life than cricket (anyway there’s always football)

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We have debated enough about the format of the tournament. Is it too long with useless matches? Maybe, but think about the flipside. For me, the cup will start effectively when India plays its match against England sometime at the end of this month. From then, it will be the eight best teams in the world (and from recent results, the closest cricket can get to having equal powers) testing its wits against each of the rest. Have no doubt, only the strongest will survive. Consistency will be at a premium.

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Now who stands a chance of winning this cup! Well, for all you know, its anyone. It was Australia till a month ago. And then a fateful series final against England and another one day series vs. New Zealand has everyone, and I mean everyone, judging that the cup is now open, not without relief. (Someday, when Roger Federer goes through the same fate, we’ll have critics saying that the beautiful game is good, but competition is the essence of sport. Till then we can resign to the fate of watching a master drooling through competitions for want of a more challenging profession.) But think about it. There were clear favourites for the world cup, and a couple of substitutes for good measure. But today, the only teams going into the world cup winning is India (hooooraaay), West Indies, England and New Zealand.

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What about India? I think (o yes, even I) they can make it if they get their act together. And as often quoted, the secret will be to get into the semi final. But I wont grudge a loss after that. Hey, you got to be modest with your hopes. Even for patriotism. Sometimes I wonder whether we should be so patriotic. The BCCI has gone on record (and unchallenged) that its not actually “our” team. Its theirs! O yeah. Team India belongs to the BCCI. In that case, patriotism will be watching Mandira Bedi and her hysterical ways of running cricket shows. (Oh boy, if only we could have Harsha Bogle and Geoffrey Boycott back). We would have got treated to some ‘cricky’ that was more cricket that masala!

Happy new year?

When new year comes, can its supplementaries stay behind? Think about a new year without resolutions. Without decisions, that are not as firm as resolutions, and hence expected to stick around for longer. Without the greetings, the cards or the gifts.

And Hope. Because we need reasons to change. Somehow changing on the 30th of December smacks of impermanence when compared to two days later. And don’t we all have a long list 2 months in preparation, waiting for the new year to get implemented.

Then of course, there are accessories, real physical ones. Calendars, diaries and what not. And they get innovative. I got a diary this year, which, apart from all the usual stuff about air distances between, and the average temperature of, the ‘important’ cities across the globe throughout the year (i think it would be so much more useful if they told things like the railway calendar or, well, even India’s cricket itinerary for the year. For sure, it will get those pages read in full!), it also gives me a horoscope of what the coming year holds forth. And curiosity coupled with idleness commits me to read the predictions for me.

SCORPIO October 24 – November 22

You stand to gain through enemies So much for deciding that I will be happy with everyone as a matter of policy this coming year, and not harbour bitterness This is the time to take bold decisions in life Hey, you know what, Im still recouping from the effect of the ‘bold decisions in life’ I took last year There will be money troubles in your family. Sigh! As if there weren’t any in the past. And as if I don’t know ill be scrounging for the next 2 years and 3 months. And people, by the way, that’s how long I have to go on here. You will spend more time on your hobbies Another resolution made long time ago. If only it would be of some consolation to my boss. naughty smirk Financial worries and additional expenses may have to be managed Hellooo… will somebody say something newww! I thought managing was what everybody did when they had an expense. That too, in a bank diary. The friendship of an elderly and competent person can help you. For all the complaints that Im associating with people too old for me anyway Students will have to revise their lessons thoroughly Ehmagod! Now, did I need you to tell me that? Forget it, does anybody need you to tell that? Those working in the public sector will succeed after March 27. At last, some inspiration. To quit and seek employment elsewhere, albeit after March. O yeah, I got it. For you to yell, April Fool. No, Im not game, sorry.

And you wish me Happy new year!

A year of living

Its been a year. Yups. a whole three hundred and sixty five days.
now please dont say since what!
Since the day Abraham C Mathews graduated into an employee, a worker, and in a lot of ways, a donkey.
One year. On my own. One year, alone (i swear that wasn't meant to rhyme!)
A year which transformed me to someone I scarcely would recognise before it started, In short, the most eventful year of my life.

Two jobs, nothing could be more contrasting than them. Happiness, fun, mindsets and the pay-packet. But Iv learned to accept that as long as you are the one who makes decisions in life you are not wrong. The decisions have consequences. Many good. Surely some bad. But that doesn't make the decision wrong. Only you have to learn to accept it as a part of your growth. So I was'nt wrong getting back in search of a career. (And come to think of it, a career Ill pretty soon give up) Yes I became a psuedo-philosopher. Armed with some friends as out of the earth as me, I fell into it. Needless? Only time will tell. But again, you can only be what you are. No more, no less.

So what about this year past. Balance Sheet style.

Assets - the unassailable will to make a mark on my own, an attitude weathered by the realities of life that all may not go well, always, but that scarcely matters, in the long run. A much needed indent in my arrogance that I can (do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me by my grace), and the timeless achievement of being a better self.
Liabilities - a pin prick at the back of my mind that asks "Can you?" before each of my crazy ventures, a big drop in the scale of my dreams, and a sluggish attitude of being satisfied with small achievements. The propensity to dream small, in the pretext of taking time off to enjoy life, a complete loss of innocence (no more mama's boy), spiritually beaten, and mentally tired. (Yes, if your still not employed, stop having fairy tale dreams of being the worker of choice. Not that its not possible, but you never know.)

Another thing Iv learnt is dont attempt something, that is job wise, unless your heart, nerves and sinews are in it.
O, talk about lessons, there are many more. Never underrate yourself. For you simply cannot measure what youre worth, even in the obvious .Dont let failure dictate your actions. The universe hasnt guaranteed, nor do i think will it allow, a failure free journey.
Find out what you love doing. then do it for the love of it. For me it is writing. And singing. I do both now.
Take time to relax. But dont get too relaxed. You live in a hectic world to waste time getting back into grove
Remember people. Value relationships. They dont come cheap.
Dont forget to pause to learn something the right way. You never know when it will come handy
Dont forget to live as if today is important, though it really may not be. And sorry, Im not sanctifying myself here. These are things I learnt the hard way,am still undoing the damages.

So, am I happy? yes. Atleast I know what I am. And Im much better off than I was a year ago. Friends, Independence, Adventurousness, yes. I may have been able to do much better, but there is always tomorrow. Maybe next year, I wont be as regretfull, maybe the next year, Ill be a little harder on my lazy self and a lot more lighter on my psychological self, but I promise, I will have grown.
By God. With God

Shat ap, 'm not that styupid!

Yo there, Mr. American, you who, for all the democracy you claim, don’t have an option but to do with the whims of a Rip Van Winkl’ish figure of a president (who wouldn’t have been that in the first place, if it were not for your electoral systems), its time you stood up for yourself. And spoke out
Spoke out saying “Do you think we are fools?” Because that’s what the people who rule you think you are.
They think they can terrorise your wives and your mothers on every election eve by reminding them of Osama Bin Laden. They think they can laugh off John Kerry as an anti militarist, by pouncing on an easily understandable joke. They think they can inspire confidence by having Saddam captured. And to top it all, they think you will buy all this bullshit!

Yes the Grand Old Party thinks you will buy it all. Talk about accountability, well, there is none. Talk about credibility, O, I’m sick of laughing.

O Bush. Sometimes I pity you. I don’t think you are as evil as the people you call evil. Hmm… Maybe you’re a little too proud to admit mistakes, (on your colleague’s advice. I understand), maybe you’re a little arrogant to go against the laws you yourself drafted, maybe you’re a little supportive of a few friends, that too daddy’s friends, who seem to be having all the fun at your expense. But you’re definitely not evil

No Mr. Bush, I don’t think you are a villain as everybody makes you out to be. You’ll only make a lesson for future students of Political science. A lesson on what will happen if administrative responsibilities are thrust upon an unknowing layman. And maybe, if some critic cum historian cum novelist would deign to immortalise your misadventures in Iraq like Tolstoy did Napoleon’s failed attempt at conquering Russia, posterity will remember you as someone more than an ignorant son of a former president, or even worse, a two time president, who had no business whatsoever to be in the White House even once.

And sometimes I pity you for the jokes they cracked at you. The best was the forward I received in my e-mail likening some 32 of your facial expressions to similar ones on a chimpanzee. And I must admit, there wasn’t much of a difference. (I wonder if the poor chimps got to see
Not to mention the day the front page of the newspaper was laid with pictures of you almost falling off a stairway, and your facial expressions. I wondered why no one approached you to do a comedy film. Maybe they will, after two more years. After all, you can’t be expected to go around the world giving lectures like Clinton. You, who didn’t know Chechnya was a country till you became a president.

O sorry Mr. American, for I momentarily forgot you. But spare a moment today before you go to cast your vote to think of the crazy things you were fed all along. W said he was anchoring a fight on terror. And it started on 9/11. But wait a minute. Im sure every American has the number of people who died on that fateful day at the towers on the towers etched to their brains. Does anyone have the latest count of Americans (Americans, mind you, not Iraqi’s) who died in Iraq. In Malayalam, we have this saying that can be translated to mean ‘setting the house on fire to kill the rodent’. And he still insists on ‘staying the course’. He knows all too well that somebody is too worried about her children to vote him out of power.

So he makes you fund his army, and then he funds the enemy by buying their oil. No, don’t laugh. Only vote.

India is a country known to have the likes of Laloo ruling states for decades, and it was not little flak we called upon for not being able to cut them to size. But three years ago, we proved that we mean business. We voted a government that claimed India was shining out of power (There was a cartoon I saw yesterday, with a beggar congratulating Jaswant Singh on the huge Foreign Exchange reserves, and then asking for some domestic change) and we’re still doing it. Today, every government with a bad performance history is simply bundled out. (That they return after five years in another matter)

And that means that even you can. Tell them to shut up. Tell them you’re not as fool as they think you are!

Remind not just Mr. Bush, and his set of advisors, but anyone who thinks they can take you for a ride the power of the “Tuesday following the first Monday of November”