A year of living

Its been a year. Yups. a whole three hundred and sixty five days.
now please dont say since what!
Since the day Abraham C Mathews graduated into an employee, a worker, and in a lot of ways, a donkey.
One year. On my own. One year, alone (i swear that wasn't meant to rhyme!)
A year which transformed me to someone I scarcely would recognise before it started, In short, the most eventful year of my life.

Two jobs, nothing could be more contrasting than them. Happiness, fun, mindsets and the pay-packet. But Iv learned to accept that as long as you are the one who makes decisions in life you are not wrong. The decisions have consequences. Many good. Surely some bad. But that doesn't make the decision wrong. Only you have to learn to accept it as a part of your growth. So I was'nt wrong getting back in search of a career. (And come to think of it, a career Ill pretty soon give up) Yes I became a psuedo-philosopher. Armed with some friends as out of the earth as me, I fell into it. Needless? Only time will tell. But again, you can only be what you are. No more, no less.

So what about this year past. Balance Sheet style.

Assets - the unassailable will to make a mark on my own, an attitude weathered by the realities of life that all may not go well, always, but that scarcely matters, in the long run. A much needed indent in my arrogance that I can (do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me by my grace), and the timeless achievement of being a better self.
Liabilities - a pin prick at the back of my mind that asks "Can you?" before each of my crazy ventures, a big drop in the scale of my dreams, and a sluggish attitude of being satisfied with small achievements. The propensity to dream small, in the pretext of taking time off to enjoy life, a complete loss of innocence (no more mama's boy), spiritually beaten, and mentally tired. (Yes, if your still not employed, stop having fairy tale dreams of being the worker of choice. Not that its not possible, but you never know.)

Another thing Iv learnt is dont attempt something, that is job wise, unless your heart, nerves and sinews are in it.
O, talk about lessons, there are many more. Never underrate yourself. For you simply cannot measure what youre worth, even in the obvious .Dont let failure dictate your actions. The universe hasnt guaranteed, nor do i think will it allow, a failure free journey.
Find out what you love doing. then do it for the love of it. For me it is writing. And singing. I do both now.
Take time to relax. But dont get too relaxed. You live in a hectic world to waste time getting back into grove
Remember people. Value relationships. They dont come cheap.
Dont forget to pause to learn something the right way. You never know when it will come handy
Dont forget to live as if today is important, though it really may not be. And sorry, Im not sanctifying myself here. These are things I learnt the hard way,am still undoing the damages.

So, am I happy? yes. Atleast I know what I am. And Im much better off than I was a year ago. Friends, Independence, Adventurousness, yes. I may have been able to do much better, but there is always tomorrow. Maybe next year, I wont be as regretfull, maybe the next year, Ill be a little harder on my lazy self and a lot more lighter on my psychological self, but I promise, I will have grown.
By God. With God