Yesterday I spent some time in a catholic chapel nearby for some time. Not for religious reasons. No, I didn’t even go there to pray. I just happened to be lured there by some music that was an absolute treat to the senses.
Well, deluded at having had two days of holidays on the trot and completely wasted it (yeah sleeping on a holiday is tantamount to wastage, in my opinion) and roaming the balcony in the hope that the evening breeze would carry the ‘stupid’ feeling away when I heard this same song that I woke up to every Tuesday and Saturday morning. Only, then Id be too lazy to dress and go and sit there for half an hour before leaving for office.
But yesterday, I had this sudden urge to go and meet this organist and tell him how soothing his playing was. I did. Predictably, he was overjoyed (for not often do people congratulate pianists) And then, he told me his story. He used to play in that church since the time anyone could remember (he was now 70). Then he met with with an accident. Being reduced to one hearing ear and one seeing eye, and lost the senses in his right thumb and two other fingers of his left hand, he still continues to play.
For some people, handicaps only serve to bring out the sweetest fragrance that is in them. They are the ones who take life as a challenge, rather than crib about the unfairness of it all.
Well, I wouldn’t be telling you this if it were not for this tiny thought I had during the service. They were singing a song that went, “I just keep trusting my Lord, as I walk along.” when I thought, 'what does my spiritually mean to me today?' Maybe it was another way of asking a question that I was grappling with for a few weeks now. True, there was prayer. There was bible reading. There wasn’t as much of bathroom singing, but anyway I was doing enough of other singing. There was church, which I really enjoyed (because of the improved choir). There was talking about God, telling the world about the amazing things He did for me over the last few months. There was philosophising, as to how God wanted me to live, as an example to everyone around. There was cheering, putting up a smile always, being a godchild of choice, yeah, Really!
But there still was a big void that was making me uncomfortable. And I simply couldn’t get the voice out to sing along with that song. A feeling of unworthiness. Anyways, the service got over, and after talking to the organist, I went back to my room, and wanting to simply pray, I felt the need to sing a song. And I felt like singing a lovely song, “Heart of worship” by a person by the name Matt Redman.
This song was written as the result of an outcome of a challenge posed by a pastor in an English church. In spite of having all the components that make modern worship what it is, the congregation kept feeling that something was ‘up’ with the worship. At first, it seemed difficult to point a finger at what was wrong. On the surface, everything was as usual. The musicians were tuning their instruments; the worship leader was doing just fine. Each service contained a block of songs that were directed towards the cross and gave the chance for people to get down to business with God. Yet they couldn’t help feeling they had lost the spark.
Slowly they started noticing. Even in the worship, all the importance was for the act of worship -The singing, the singers, the preachers- rather than the Worshipped. They were going through the motions, but their hearts were far from Him!
That was when the pastor of the church made the brave decision to dispose of with the sound system, and all the instruments used in the worship. They were challenged to ask themselves individually, 'When I come through the door of the church, what am I bringing as my contribution to worship?'
They ‘fired’ their song leader. They decided that if ‘noone brought a sacrifice of praise, they would meet in silence’. Soon people started singing songs acapella, and the rest would join in and follow it with another song. The service began to have more involvement and went back to being a blessing.
That was when the lead singer, Matt Redman wrote this song from his experience at the church.
When the music fades and all is stripped away
Well, deluded at having had two days of holidays on the trot and completely wasted it (yeah sleeping on a holiday is tantamount to wastage, in my opinion) and roaming the balcony in the hope that the evening breeze would carry the ‘stupid’ feeling away when I heard this same song that I woke up to every Tuesday and Saturday morning. Only, then Id be too lazy to dress and go and sit there for half an hour before leaving for office.
But yesterday, I had this sudden urge to go and meet this organist and tell him how soothing his playing was. I did. Predictably, he was overjoyed (for not often do people congratulate pianists) And then, he told me his story. He used to play in that church since the time anyone could remember (he was now 70). Then he met with with an accident. Being reduced to one hearing ear and one seeing eye, and lost the senses in his right thumb and two other fingers of his left hand, he still continues to play.
For some people, handicaps only serve to bring out the sweetest fragrance that is in them. They are the ones who take life as a challenge, rather than crib about the unfairness of it all.
Well, I wouldn’t be telling you this if it were not for this tiny thought I had during the service. They were singing a song that went, “I just keep trusting my Lord, as I walk along.” when I thought, 'what does my spiritually mean to me today?' Maybe it was another way of asking a question that I was grappling with for a few weeks now. True, there was prayer. There was bible reading. There wasn’t as much of bathroom singing, but anyway I was doing enough of other singing. There was church, which I really enjoyed (because of the improved choir). There was talking about God, telling the world about the amazing things He did for me over the last few months. There was philosophising, as to how God wanted me to live, as an example to everyone around. There was cheering, putting up a smile always, being a godchild of choice, yeah, Really!
But there still was a big void that was making me uncomfortable. And I simply couldn’t get the voice out to sing along with that song. A feeling of unworthiness. Anyways, the service got over, and after talking to the organist, I went back to my room, and wanting to simply pray, I felt the need to sing a song. And I felt like singing a lovely song, “Heart of worship” by a person by the name Matt Redman.
This song was written as the result of an outcome of a challenge posed by a pastor in an English church. In spite of having all the components that make modern worship what it is, the congregation kept feeling that something was ‘up’ with the worship. At first, it seemed difficult to point a finger at what was wrong. On the surface, everything was as usual. The musicians were tuning their instruments; the worship leader was doing just fine. Each service contained a block of songs that were directed towards the cross and gave the chance for people to get down to business with God. Yet they couldn’t help feeling they had lost the spark.
Slowly they started noticing. Even in the worship, all the importance was for the act of worship -The singing, the singers, the preachers- rather than the Worshipped. They were going through the motions, but their hearts were far from Him!
That was when the pastor of the church made the brave decision to dispose of with the sound system, and all the instruments used in the worship. They were challenged to ask themselves individually, 'When I come through the door of the church, what am I bringing as my contribution to worship?'
They ‘fired’ their song leader. They decided that if ‘noone brought a sacrifice of praise, they would meet in silence’. Soon people started singing songs acapella, and the rest would join in and follow it with another song. The service began to have more involvement and went back to being a blessing.
That was when the lead singer, Matt Redman wrote this song from his experience at the church.
When the music fades and all is stripped away
and I simply come.
Longing just to be something that’s of worth
that will bless Your heart.
I'll bring You more than a song, for a song in itself
is not what You have required.
You search much deeper within, through the way things appear,
Your looking into my heart.
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and its all about You, its all about You, Jesus.
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
when its all about You, its all about You, Jesus
Well, singing this song yesterday, I recognised what was wrong. Not just for me, but for most of the organised Christian groups, that are forever complaining that they are not getting anything out of the worship. Somewhere along the way, our worship became the the preaching, the charm of the preacher, the singing, the choir, and a horde of other things. It was fine in the beginning, but gradually, we lost sight of the One we went to worship.
We still went on, attending worship and prayers without getting anything out of it, till one day we found ourselves in need of spiritual guidance, but the church had no more life to give it to us.
Its not just the church. All of us, in all our religions, what have we made of God? Just another topic to philosophise on? Just another being to pray to, to support our insufficiencies? Just another person in whose name we seek to gratify our ego’s?
God, if he indeed is maker, if He indeed is Omni-whatever, deserves much more than what we give give Him. Or rather, I feel He’d rather have just the simple stuff. Just a nod upwards and a wave “Hey there, thanks for being around. I love you”, rather than all the philosophies. Rather than all the things we do in His name, for Him. More than just a song. A heart of personal relationship with Him
Well, singing this song yesterday, I recognised what was wrong. Not just for me, but for most of the organised Christian groups, that are forever complaining that they are not getting anything out of the worship. Somewhere along the way, our worship became the the preaching, the charm of the preacher, the singing, the choir, and a horde of other things. It was fine in the beginning, but gradually, we lost sight of the One we went to worship.
We still went on, attending worship and prayers without getting anything out of it, till one day we found ourselves in need of spiritual guidance, but the church had no more life to give it to us.
Its not just the church. All of us, in all our religions, what have we made of God? Just another topic to philosophise on? Just another being to pray to, to support our insufficiencies? Just another person in whose name we seek to gratify our ego’s?
God, if he indeed is maker, if He indeed is Omni-whatever, deserves much more than what we give give Him. Or rather, I feel He’d rather have just the simple stuff. Just a nod upwards and a wave “Hey there, thanks for being around. I love you”, rather than all the philosophies. Rather than all the things we do in His name, for Him. More than just a song. A heart of personal relationship with Him
2 comments:
it sounds like you are having all the right conversations within ...
blessings on you ...
I know what you mean re: the songs. I'm full-fledged Catholic and sometimes, I only go to church not to listen but to sing with the choir. I like gospel songs and I enjoy it even more when the choir is great. Their zeal is almost contagious. I'm glad that the music provoked you to ponder... it's an enigma, isn't it?
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