Blogging when you're bored a.k.a Im an asshole

Ay Ess Ess Aych Owe Ell Ee, everybody say, Ay Ess Ess Aych Owe Ell Ee, asshole.

Im an Asshole. Im an Asshole. Im an Asshole

Ok now dont be deluded. Its out of sheer boredom. But let me share how surprised I am that so many people seem to be be bored these days! Like, there seems to be far too many people saying the same thing at the same time for it to be dismissed as passe. There's most of my colleagues saying the same thing. And come to think of it, about the job that I harped I could never grow bored with! Theres so many people on blogosphere. Well, to keep this simple, I get the feeling something like J K Rowling's Dementor effect has grabbed the country!

Well, Im bored, just like Nags, and Lemonade, and then so many others who'se names I cant remember amidst all this boredom, and I come up with this ultra boring topic "Blogging when you're bored" This is what happens......

1. You write as if you you were taking vengeance. You go on drooling and drooling, and drooling, the only tangible effect being, earning the ire of the few readers who still bother to check in. So you start jabbing at the keys, and then deleting after about three paragraphs of utterly boring stuff, only to feel bad about it, going back to typing trash and well, somewhere down the line, writing about the fact that you had written more trash than you had guts to publish, and make a big song about how you are 'literally blocked' and how you struggled to shield the readers from its contagious effects and all that crap!

2. The only topics that come to your mind are the 'duh' topics. Like lets say, the ads I see on TV. oh, btw, I didnt tell you, At my job, I get to watch TV all day. Well, atleast thats the sexy part of the fact. The not-so-sexy part is that its just CNBC thats shown! Well, but India's investing youth know to make the best ot of the little available. One day on orkut, someone came up with the topic, "Who's the sexiest babe on CNBC?". And believe it or not, we had 72 replies in one hour!

Thank God for small mercies, because otherwise its just listening to some company's CEO or the other. And then, theres the ad's. Now dont you go 'atleast theres the ad's', because they just show the business ad's, and then some others just meant to keep you awake.

Theres those lousy girls screeching 'wow' (WOW) every five seconds, till Kajol comes with her 'ready to use' high speed internet solution. I often wonder how come Kajol materialises whenever there is a telephone connection problem, even in people's bedroom's. Well, I guess its the otherway round. Whenevr Kajol is around, all other providers' airwaves get jammed. Or is it really that?

Then of course, I must tell you about this abhorable ad in which a pretty young thing carries some boxes out of her office to her waiting car, when another young thing (male) scolds her for doing it all herself, like only a just-married or just-to-be-married would do. After listening to the tirade in silence, she proudly announces to a bystander "He's not my husband. He's my stock broker". Oh, tell me isnt that depressing? 6 months of stock broking, and I havent even made a start!!! or wait, what wife would go around saying that like that?

I wont even tell you about some of the other ad's, like the Radio Mirchi one, which has the only effect of getting everyone looking at the TV searching for the source of the disturbance in the office. Good achievement, but not when you've just woken someone from a noon time nap!

3. You find an amazing companion in google search. I type in Bored, and it assures me its got a cure. Go to Bored.com. Well, the site seems pretty interesting, with stuff as varied as jokes to results of a Lost wallet experiment! And if it doesnt work, theres another 73400 standby solutions.

Well, I found a joke. ja, a Bush joke. My favorite category of joke! Copied for you.

So, Donald Rumsfeld is briefing George Bush in the Oval Office."Oh and finally, sir, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq today." Bush goes pale, his jaw hanging open in stunned disbelief. He buries hisface in his hands, muttering "My God...My God"."Mr. President," says Cheney, "we lose soldiers all the time, and it's terrible. But I've never seen you so upset. What's the matter?"Bush looks up and says..."How many is a Brazilian?"

other attractions at the site include website destroyer (oh wait, dont destroy my poor site, or maybe I should check wether it actually works first) deathday predictor, and a long list of names you could call a loved one (now, that should be time pass)

4. Theres youtube always. But you get tired of listened to Gaither Vocals and Beatles, dont you? And Salma Hayek isnt exactly stuff you could search for in the office! Well, today I did see a video of a cheetah chasing a deer. The perfect chase, such a beauty to watch. Till a sardarji comes running, overtaking the cheetah, cradling the deer in his arms, and running away with it. Now, THAT WAS FUNNY!

oh well well well... I guess its getting too late, and yeah, I owe you an explanation for the tirade in the beginning. Listen to the asshole song. Youll never regret it!