The hardest thing I've ever done is keep believing
There's someone in this crazy world for me
The way that people come and go through temporary lives
My chance could come and I might never know
I used to say "No promises, let's keep it simple"
But freedom only helps you say goodbye
It took a while for me to learn that nothing comes for free
The price I paid is high enough for me
I know I ask perfection of a quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think that's what I'll find
So here I am with pockets full of good intentions
But none of them will comfort me tonight
I'm wide awake at 4 a.m. without a friend in sight
I'm hanging on a hope but I'm all right
(Another Carpeneter's song. Its amazing the way they come up with songs that make you think "Hey, wasnt that just me?")
Iv finally reached the stage in life where you not only stop, look back and notice, but actually accept that maybe things may not be the way they make it out to be. Accept that people can be cruel (though a lot of time maybe without meaning to be) and that you have to get on with and in spite of it. That spreading cheer and happiness and all that jazz cannot be a goal in itself. And that you've got to give your own self some self respect and love.
But surprisingly, once I got myself to accept it, I found it isnt as difficult to live with. And in fact, the last week, Iv been more relaxed than ever... hehe, i told you na, Im done with whining :)
Ok, I know this is far too abstract to make any sort of sense to you. The explanation in my next post, whenever that is.
PS: The above song is actually titled "I know I need to be in love" . I removed that part of the lyrics because well, that wasnt the conclusion I arrived at. But in the course of writing this, I just noticed that never in my life so far have I never really considered being in a serious relationship. The fabled 'love affair". Maybe thats the only way to get what Im looking for, but right now, I dont want to disturb the solace... Haha, Im almost tempted to call it the quantum of solace!
Well, i think I will... so here's the "fooled you" in case you thought I was gonna write about James Bond or his new femme's!