06 February, 2008

The Quantum of Solace

The hardest thing I've ever done is keep believing

There's someone in this crazy world for me
The way that people come and go through temporary lives
My chance could come and I might never know

I used to say "No promises, let's keep it simple"
But freedom only helps you say goodbye
It took a while for me to learn that nothing comes for free
The price I paid is high enough for me

I know I ask perfection of a quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think that's what I'll find

So here I am with pockets full of good intentions
But none of them will comfort me tonight
I'm wide awake at 4 a.m. without a friend in sight
I'm hanging on a hope but I'm all right

(Another Carpeneter's song. Its amazing the way they come up with songs that make you think "Hey, wasnt that just me?")


Iv finally reached the stage in life where you not only stop, look back and notice, but actually accept that maybe things may not be the way they make it out to be. Accept that people can be cruel (though a lot of time maybe without meaning to be) and that you have to get on with and in spite of it. That spreading cheer and happiness and all that jazz cannot be a goal in itself. And that you've got to give your own self some self respect and love.

But surprisingly, once I got myself to accept it, I found it isnt as difficult to live with. And in fact, the last week, Iv been more relaxed than ever... hehe, i told you na, Im done with whining :)

Ok, I know this is far too abstract to make any sort of sense to you. The explanation in my next post, whenever that is.

PS: The above song is actually titled "I know I need to be in love" . I removed that part of the lyrics because well, that wasnt the conclusion I arrived at. But in the course of writing this, I just noticed that never in my life so far have I never really considered being in a serious relationship. The fabled 'love affair". Maybe thats the only way to get what Im looking for, but right now, I dont want to disturb the solace... Haha, Im almost tempted to call it the quantum of solace!
Well, i think I will... so here's the "fooled you" in case you thought I was gonna write about James Bond or his new femme's!


D said...

Hi Ab!
Saw your comment on my blog... And I know what you mean. I don't get too many visitors on my blog either, if you noticed. But I'm not going to stop being D because of that!

I haven't blogrolled you, but I do keep coming here to check on you :)

And why I asked was because I have come to feel I know 'ab', so it's nice to see your name up there! I do not know Anonymous at all...

Ab said...

oh no.... i wasnt complaining.... its just that i claimed im on a 6 month leave.. and people really believed me..
th anonymous writing, was the rebellious me... like, you dont have to check my blog for formality.... trying that in my relationships, so why not blog 'buddies'?
and anyway, now id rather have less readers... there was a time i would advertise this space... th stuff i write now, id ratherb keep it secret :)

Ab said...

and ya, to continue, Anon isnt really Ab... more of Ab evolved, and an Ab that has accepted reality.

Anon isnt afraid to hurt someone, or to be mean to someone....

Anon doesnt lose sleep over someone else's nastiness, he just treats them back in the same way...

Anon doesnt expect the world to be all lovey-dovey.. If Ab believed everyone in the world was inherently nice, and then had to eat his ideas, Anon would rather start without that notion, and just return to people in equidenominated coins...:)

and about blogrolls, i never said anything, did i? didnt even notice.. but again, if you'll blogroll me only if i blogroll you first, then id rather not be advertised.....
i mean, its that quid pro quo that irks me... dont come here just for formality.... dont do things for someone else because they did/would do it for you....

as for me, i still havent figured out how to blogroll someone using th old blogger, which is why i give small cameos (as princess put it) in my posts

ok, the social rebel in Ab is being unusually active this month....

D said...

I see the rebel thing alright! And it's great you're moving on.

I know you didn't say anything about blogrolling, but I mentioned it because the link back to your blog when I want to "check on you" (for no other reason except that I want to do it) is through your profile, which obviously is inaccessible if you comment as Ab.

As for getting more visitors to your blog, well, I ain't over it yet. I still wonder why the trickle never turns into a downpour! So, congratulations for getting all mature on that!

Ok, enough said. I hate explanations. Let's get on with blogging!

Vidya said...

This is zen! And your post is not abstract at all. I get it! :D
And congratulations that you are there!


Anwesha Chatterjee said...


You know there is a time for everything. It may sound like a Bollywood dialogue, but two people of the same age do not necessarily have to realise at the same time that there is someone is who waiting for them. This feeling comes from within and I think it happens only when you meet the right person. So buddy, tumhara number aayega!
(I don't know you, but it seems from your post that you are Indian, so I took the liberty to pen down some Hindi!)

Desparado said...

I landed up here thru Farah's blog...ur post is as mesmerising as anything i've read lately. Actually I identify wid ur brain waves...hv been feeling d same pangs of pain for a long time now.

Tk care!


Anonymous said...

I'm through all that. And life's complicated, I agree. But we all gotta try our luck, eh?
Am coming by after a long time, man. And it's real nice to see that you're still being faithful to BloGGer. I have gone and found myself a new mistress :)


Multifuncional said...

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Irreversibly Screwed said...

i just did a search on youtube for the song after reading the lyrics.. thanks.. i needed just this.. :-)

and i assume you're with me waiting for ManU to kick Chelsea's ass in EPL and CL!!! :D

Candid Confessions said...

Don't we all for a moment now feel the necessity for a serious relationship that can anchor us to sanity! Yes!! But life may have different offerings and hell yeah, we accept it as is. Is as is! Makes it easier, way I handle it all too!